William Yau case - the problem with parachute parenting

The parents have finally found closure.

But the general public hasn't.

 In a dramatic twist, his paternal grandmother makes an appearance at the funeral she wasn't invited to.

I'm assuming that she took care of little William for a good couple of years before he was either returned or taken back by his parachute parents. 

Naturally he will find it hard to fit into the family and be extremely difficult to handle.

Now comes the part which most people tend to brush aside .

Has anyone, ever taken into serious consideration, the fact that a child will reject his/her biological parents, once they take him back ? 

I don't think so.

Most parachute parents will tend to think that their children will forget easily and bond with them instantly .

That's not always the case.

Simply because children are born with human emotions.

Both parties don't share a common bond for one another... having missed out on bonding during the formative years.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not saying that grandparenting is inadequate.

Rather it is the feeling of extreme insecurity due to detachment, that leads to problems once the child is ripped away from his caregiver/ grandparent, that causes the most damage.

 

I'll give you a few examples of kids that have been brought up by their grandparents, taken back by parachute parents , only to end up in tragic circumstances that left them dead.

1. Sherway Ooi Ying Ying ( 3 years old ) - murdered, body parts scattered , left in care of grandparents for a good number of years before her mother took her back

2. Vernon Teh Wei Zen ( 11 years old ) - suicide, left alone at home by grandfather, attached to his grandmother who had recently died 

3. 12-year-old boy in Sabah - hung himself with his shoelaces he was apparently upset over not being able to return to his hometown to see his grandfather

4. 14 year old - fought with his friend , taunted by his sister, hung himself . Apparently he was still depressed over the recent demise of his grandmother

Of course,while not every child with parachute parents, is going to end up a statistic, unless parental love and guidance comes with patience of gold, the emotional scars will forever put a blot on their relationship.

If you leave your kids with your parents, they will always pine for them. Can you handle that ? If you can't, keep them with you , even if your mom tells you how much money you can save, or a better growing up environment, the child will enjoy, by leaving your kid with her in Penang, while both of you work in KL.

Related post :

http://gostansikit.blogspot.com/2012/05/teenage-suicides.html