Sunday 18 August 2013

More Pulau Tikus One Way Traffic System jokes





 1.    Did you hear about the latest exercise fad to hit Georgetown ? It's  called 3 ways Up, One way Down, Round and Round . 

2.   A disgruntled hawker confronted an avid supporter of the system , over the social network. 
       Hawker  " Ini Kali ah , My kopitiam business REBAH by 30 percent  "
      Supporter " SABAH ..once people get the hang of the roads, they will return "
      Hawker " SUDAH ! Can't wait that long you know ? I have commitments "
      Supporter " UBAH your one way track mind and show your support OK MAH ?  "
      Hawker " SIOWKIAH ! Why don't you admit that the system is SALAH ? " 
      Supporter " You think it is very MUDAH ? Trust the professionals who go to SEKOLAH ! "
       Hawker " People express their problem, you act as if you got stung by LEBAH"
       Supporter " All you know is how to complain, why don't you PODAH ?Shift over to KEDAH  lah! " 
       Hawker " TUNAH seng, Lain Kali I make sure they KALAH ! "

3.   By the end of 3 months, every driver who's passed the Pulau Tikus test, can represent the country, in the most mind boggling and challenging obstacle race mankind has ever attempted......on the moon ! 

4.   Thanks to the Pulau Tikus One Way Street system,  Georgetown is now known as the UBAH capital of the world. Utterly Baffling, Atrociously Horrifying. 

5.   True story. 3 weeks after the implementation , someone posted up a picture of a row of parked cars in Bellisa Row, just to show that the area was still bustling...whoever did that is beyond stupid, because they didn't count on everyone noticing that the shop shutters were down. 
 
6.  To solve the jam,  the powers that be, opened a bicycle lane. Penangites showed their undying support by parking their cars on it. 

7.  The medical tourist told the surgeon why she came late for the appointment " I came here for a facelift but every road I used to know, turned out to be a facepalm " 

8.  Jalan Kelawei is exactly like Michael Jackson's " Black or White "  
Black lines moonwalk, as the White ones shuffle. 

9.  The trick to enjoying a stress free drive towards Pulau Tikus is this......Adult diapers. Don't ever leave your home without it .

10. As the plane made it's descent down to Penang, the honeymoon couple started panicking. It seems they remembered to bring everything, except Panadol .

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