My 3 day old Sprainedanklelosis

I've sprained my ankle so many times I've lost count.The first was during a competitive game of hockey.But the last and final time it happened was the worst ever.

That effectively put me out of action for a period of 3 weeks hobbling about gingerly on one foot, with such a contorted pained expression,you'd think I had a severe case of facial constipation.

Then on Monday,the interplanetary stars decided it was time to up that.

Don't know which donkey road contractor decided to put a hole with the circumference of a thampui, in the middle of a tarred pavement in Pulau Tikus opposite the police station ,directly at the spot where the uncle hawks Ban Chang kuih in the afternoons.

In fell this dizzy kepoh-chee,who while gawking at the amount of prawns the hawker was peeling,helplessly became an unwilling roadside spectacle when with a shrill screech,my foot twisted inwards,followed by such a loud snap ,I saw everything in canine vision......electrifying flashes of black and white.

As I clung onto the roadsign pole like a squint eyed Maple Loo,struggling to stay conscious for 'ai been'ssake (want face,don't want paiseh) and hubs took his bloody sweet time to bring the gallant car to my aid,the twit in me only cared about choreographing how to slump in dramatic dignity.

Once inside,I think his balls shrunk two sizes,cos he gripped the steering tighter as I exercised every available vocal range for Ahh,Ooh and Ouch.
The pain was seriously searing upwards with such intensity at every stop and corner.

"Hospital?" he asked

Who me? Enema land? No way....
no bone sticking out of the flesh was a good sign.
"Probably ligament" as evident from the snapping sound,my former He-man sportsman remarked.

Determined not to end up with a 3 week beast of burden,he pounded the internet to find a way out for his stubborn worser half.

Thus,we ended up in a compromising position that involved stockings and oil.
Ligament support socks to be exact,encasing a liberal application of nasal piercing gamat ointment or sea cucumber oil.

The first 4 hours were excrutiating,the next 12 a little easier.To my surprise,it just took one day before I could walk albeit with a stiff zombie like gait as I still relied heavily on the good leg and there was a large swelling on the outer side.
Came a time when I freted if one buttock would be more Xena muscular than its Kardashian other.
The second day saw to it that the swelling had suddenly spread all round but I persevered.
Continued the application until today where you wouldn't even notice I had suffered from such a bad sprain,it left both sides of the affected area of my foot , a battle scared,scorched blue black.

Phew!