Whopper of a Black Pearl durian

It's a wet night in Georgetown . Cold , dank and dreary .

Perfect weather for consuming heaty foods .

We polish off the Guinness Stout beef with leeks I personally whipped up in the slow cooker earlier ,before we head out ,in search of some durians to cap off the simple meal .

Again , we started out by sampling ready packed durians first . 

Pack #1 was a Black Pearl ( excellent ! ) 

#2 , a Musang King ( ok acceptable ) .

Then we went in for the kill ( rather we were prepared to be slaughtered )

He targetted the X.O. at MYR 35 per kilo , but I pulled a face and pouted towards the Black Pearl which cost MYR 65 per kilo . Chancing on the open window , the seller , bless his big balls , showed us the largest rugby sized fruit of the bunch .

I let out a whimper when I saw the size of the whopper and placed one hand to half cover my eyes before he uttered 

" 2 over kilos !!! " like he'd just delivered a baby !

" 163 .....never mind , 160 !"

Although MYR 160 for a monster with 15 seeds , felt like it was still considerably cheaper than the Green Thorn ( pictured below ) we had below a few months back for MYR 109 , the price still made me look his way to see if he was about to faint yet . Nope. Not yet . 

Phew !

It was marvellously sticky , creamy , cool and ice cream sweet . The sweetness of which felt almost artificial because how in the world could a durian pack in so much natural sweetness that tasted as if someone had injected pure granulated syrup into the sac ? 

Notice how the membrane looks like an old person's skin ? It's thin , not too gassy neither is it chewy .

The flesh melts away like a smooth cool custard , thus it won't make you feel like you are on fire unlike other gassier durians . 

As we are slowly savouring the whopper , the bored seller starts to spout some nonsense about us returning tomorrow night , so that he can tutor me some Mandarin .

You see , I never fail to impress these Ah Bengs with my so called Ang Moh Kau english . The female of our species are so few and far between that sometimes I think , that they find us very exotic lolz , despite us being from similar stock pot .

He's a funny guy . He's got a Thai talisman on but he cracks jokes as if he just hopped off the junket from Johor . I try not to talk too much with this kind ( not because I don't want to but I can't for the life of me ) , I flash him a lot of closed mouth polite smiles with some confusing eye language thrown in , until , as I enter the vehicle , I can still hear him bitching to his sidekick over my lingo

" ee kong ang moh kau oh " 

Gawds . These Ah Bengs are so funny . He's frustrated alright . Frustrated as hell that I dress like 'em but don't speak like him .

They want to communicate with us but when we give them the cold blank look and they can see that we are scrambling for our translators , they look at us rooted for a moment like we just got off the spaceship from Planet Kurangassam . To cope with that trauma that we look like them , yet cannot speak like them , they then keep talking about us for the next half hour or so before they probably suck their thumb to sleep at night with a bantal busuk by their side .

Cute . I like all these funny Ah Beng types did I not tell you before ? They're really entertaining , robustly loud but quite cute . 

Location : Penang